Day 20 - Week 3 recap

06/24/2015

Went to my 3rd doctor visit today and I can now eat soft foods!!!

So when I got home I cut up a banana to eat. It was strange, because I wasn't sure if I was actually chewing. I didn't choke though so I guess I was doing something right. The only problem I could see myself having apart from choking is food getting stuck in my splint. But that's more like gross discomfort rather than anything problematic.

As I was eating my banana, I noticed a box of muffins on the counter and you know, muffins are a pretty soft food. I ate a muffin and a half, though I felt kind of sick after, so I guess I should pace myself in the future. But it was so good. And thinking about it, 20 days isn't really that long, but that's complete hindsight.

06/22/2015

Dr. Stark also said that I only need rubber bands on for 1 more week!!! And then my splint comes off in two weeks so I'm really looking forward to that because no splint hopefully means that I will be able to talk normally and basically be back to normal apart from my semi-restricted diet.

So many exclamation marks but it was such an exciting day!

Let's see... I can smile pretty normally now. My face is definitely more expressive with all of this regained mobility, though still a bit swollen. The extra stitches were taken out. I was given some jaw exercises to do and I was given the OK to blow my nose if needed, though lightly. My lips still don't close normally, but I can close them without it being too forced.

The last bit of exciting news is that I felt a light cold sensation on my bottom lip! Not much because it's kind of layered, but there was a definite sensation!

Today has probably been one of the more exciting days -- right up there with when I regained the ability to drink from a cup and use a spoon. Every day is progress.

Day 14 - #tbt

A throwback to that time I had jaw surgery June 4, 2015

And then to about a week ago:

06/09/2015

And today:

06/18/2015

Day 13 / Week 2 in Review

06/17/2015

So I visited my doctor today and he said everything is looking spiffy! I asked about the stitches that are on the inside center of my upper lip because I didn't expect to see any stitches there. He said that because they expanded my upper jaw, they also had to lengthen my upper lip and that I shouldn't worry if they randomly fall out when I brush my teeth. He's going to remove them next week if they're not all out by then anyways.

Week two - I definitely started this week more swollen than I am now and like I said before - if you didn't know me, I look pretty normal now apart from the open mouth thing.

My head still feels really heavy when I wake up, but it's just a bit uncomfortable. It goes away when I start walking around. Then again, I could just hate waking up.

I really think that all of the walking has helped. It makes me feel healthier at least more than if I were just sitting on the couch all day. I think it's an important point to remember that I had surgery, I'm not sick, so it's a good thing to be active to get back to my old routine.

Food is okay. I've been eating a lot of applesauce. There's different flavors. I also like clam chowder. And then the other day I was really desperate for peanut butter, so I mixed some in my Cream of Wheat and it actually tasted really good! Still desperate for more peanut butter, I melted some in the microwave, added milk and it turned out surprisingly decent. Also, any fruit + vanilla ice cream + milk + ice makes a good milkshake. I had a nectarine milkshake the other day, but again it's all in moderation because I get sick of the same foods really easily.

My lower lip and my upper chin are still completely numb, though they are tingling. Other parts of my face like my nose and the area next to it are semi-numb, meaning I can feel if something is hot or cold, but I can't really feel it directly if that makes any sense. It's layered.

Overall I feel pretty good right now and I've been told it only gets better from here!

Day 10

Time is flyinggg. I can't believe it's already day 10!

And it's my dog's birthday! He's two. Sadly, no cake for him or me though.

06/14/2015

Today one of my rubber bands broke, but it was pretty easy to put another one on. Tweezers were helpful, but you could probably do it without them.

My nose still randomly itches and it is driving me crazy, but other than this new, annoying itching sensation, I haven't had any improvement in my numbness. Just pins and needles.

Also, I think that if you didn't know me, I *almost* look normal. But I still can't close my lips comfortably and my lips and cheeks are still swollen. The bruising has disappeared though.

I can also say "Hello" normally, but that's the only word. I regress from there.

Day 9

06/13/2015

Longer walk today

I'm not going to go into details, but you can't be afraid of your nose. You just have to accept all the nastiness and use your saline spray. And q-tips. Those are important.

What was annoying today though was that my nose actually started to itch, but the sad thing is that I still can't completely feel the sides of my nose and so I couldn't get rid of the itch! And now thinking about not being able to itch my nose has made it all itchy again!

I still can't feel my chin, but when I tap on it it tingles. No feeling at all in my bottom lip yet. But that's normal and I remember when I got my wisdom teeth out it took a while for sensation to come back then too. So I'm not worried. It's just inconvenient when I'm trying to eat.

Speaking of eating, I just bought this Broccoli Cheddar soup from Wegmans and it was delicious. It was savory and that's something that I don't really get a lot of with all the fruity drinks. There were broccoli chunks in it, but I just put it in the Vitamix and voilà: slurpable!

Day 8

The grass needs to be cut, but I feel like the vibrations from the lawn mower may be too much for my face/jaw right now. Maybe next week.

Apart from the first four days, I've been able to sleep through the night, although I was waking up earlier than usual, meaning 6 or 7AM, and that's with going to bed around 10 or 11PM. Now I'm pretty much back to my regular sleep schedule and since the anesthesia has worn off (around day 4 post-op) I haven't needed any naps.

The liquid diet is the worst. I mean, I guess it could be worse, but I just went to the grocery store and there was so much food... My mom bought all of these blueberry muffins for my brother to eat :(

Still can't close my lips,
but I can semi-smile!

I love muffins. I really miss pizza and cheeseburgers and peppers and bagels and whole fruit. I just really want to crunch into something.

When I first came back from the hospital, my throat was so sore and what felt good for me were hot/warm liquids as opposed to cold ones. In general and moving forward, I think it's good to have a balance, that way you don't get too sick of anything. For example, I'm already sick of chocolatey drinks. Too many in too few days.

I've been eating a bunch of different soups, fruit/veggie smoothies, V8, various juices. Occasionally I have a milkshake. And then Cream of Wheat with maple syrup and extra milk to make it more liquidy is really good. I'm going to try a cheesy grits recipe for dinner tonight, so we'll see how that turns out!

PSA - A mirror really does help. Just picture this like one of those weight loss commercials : At first I was super sloppy, letting food drop all over me, but now with my mirror I'm able to see when I'm about to drip and I'm proud to say that my shirts have never been cleaner!


Dr. Stark told me to start brushing with a toothbrush, so I have this Dora the Explorer child's toothbrush that I'm using. It's difficult because my gums are numb, so I'm not sure if I'm being too gentle. And then the splint makes it weird because it goes over half of my front teeth and then I'm not sure how much it is covering my other teeth because I can't really open my mouth, so brushing is guesswork. I just used a flashlight to look around in there and that actually helped me see spots on exposed teeth that I was missing with my toothbrush.

Think I'll go take the dogs on a walk now.

Week 1 - Contemplated

To think, this time last week I was under the knife.

06/10/2015

The first three days after surgery were the worst because of the insane pressure from the swelling and that just causes general discomfort because nobody's face is supposed to be that size. But it has started to go down, although I think I'm plateauing at the moment.

For me, waking up is the worst because I just feel all of this pressure building back up and it's so uncomfortable. But once I'm up and moving, I feel pretty normal for a person who just had their jaw surgically reconstructed.

Talking has been difficult because I have a splint, which is confining my tongue to the back of my mouth. Also my mouth is rubberbanded, but my doctor just put on looser ones so now I can use a spoon! And I finally learned how to drink from a glass without coughing everything up from choking: you just have to let it go down. Don't be afraid of drowning or choking. You just gotta tip your head back and chug.

Also, I think I wasn't drooling before because the sheer size of my lips was containing everything, but now it all depends on posture. If I'm not sitting or standing straight or backwards a little - let's just say I feel like the little teapot in the "tip me over and pour me out" aspect.

My nose is still semi-clogged. No real progress there.

Overall, I haven't really had any pain, just discomfort. I've only been using my antibiotics and mouth rinse for medicine and haven't needed the painkillers. I think I either have a really high pain tolerance or I'm just so numb I feel nothing. Probably some combination of the two. Smiling is the only painful thing though because I think that's stretching the incision areas. I was trying to watch Jimmy Fallon and he just cracks me up so I had to pause the show just to reset my face. So my advice is when you laugh, make sure that you're able to control yourself because it hurts! But I think it helps to laugh. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine!

bite before

bite after

chin before

chin after

Day 4

I think the effects of the anesthesia are finally gone because I can finally concentrate, which I wasn't able to do the first couple of days. So now I can start reading/watching Netflix/Interneting whichever.

Note the roll of paper towels:
They are essential

My swelling has definitely gone down, but I honestly still feel really compressed and now there's bruising that's showing up and my neck is kind of stiff, so I guess it's a compromise. Those are my only complaints though. I haven't needed any pain medication yet, which I am happy about because that Lortab is nasty stuff. It's like cinnamon cherry flavored in the worst way. I guess when I become less numb I'll probably need something. Feeling is slowly returning: I can feel my top lip and half of my nose, but it's layered if that makes any sense. Like sensation hasn't returned completely, but everything is tingly.

I walked my dogs today, which was only a struggle because they started pulling in the end and I don't think it would be good for me to jog. Don't want to jostle anything around, though like I said, I feel pretty compressed.

Day 3

Gourd

My ears and throat probably are what hurt the most right now, discounting my overall general discomfort due to the unnatural size of my face. I think I look a bit like a gourd, actually. I like the compression thing though just because it feels like it's holding my head together.

Eating has been a bit of a struggle. It's probably just me, but I feel like whenever I drink too much milk it gets harder to swallow and everything in my mouth gets super thick - gross, right - so I kind of just want to avoid milk products. I've been eating chicken soup my mom made and blended in the Vitamix which actually tastes really good. I really haven't been all that hungry though, unless you count this craving for pizza.

My lips started peeling, not that I can feel it so I've been q-tipping them and using this medicated ointment I bought and that seems to be helping. My parents say they looked painfully chapped after surgery, so I guess it's to be expected.

I have a follow-up doctor appointment on Wednesday that I'm looking forward too, hopefully because by that point my swelling will have started to go down and then also maybe I'll be able to open my mouth a bit more? 

Day 2

My dad said I looked rounder this morning.

Let's see, I got up at 4AM because I was in some pain/discomfort, not really sure what is what and so I decided to mix some of this awful painkiller medicine, Lortab Elixir, with prune juice. Oh my god. I don't know if it's just me, but I cannot cannot cannot stomach this medicine. It burns my throat and then leaves it itching and it's just nauseating. The smell alone makes me gag. That's been my biggest struggle.

I haven't been drooling really, and I use a saline spray for my nose, but it was never really stuffed up thanks to that oxygen mask. The main thing is getting used to all of the saliva on the inside of my splint because it feels like I'm drowning. Also I don't like that my tongue is trapped. But I am able to open and close my mouth a little bit despite the rubber bands and I can drink from those paper dixie cups that are kind of moldable.

My swelling has definitely increased today. I went from looking like a pear to a pineapple and I still feel all of this pressure. Maybe it's the little Lortab that I've managed to swallow, but I've been trying to picture my head like one of the Patriot's footballs in deflategate and just trying to imagine my head deflating a bit, you know, imagery as a recovery technique. They gave me this compression head wrap thing at the hospital with instructions to keep it on for three or so days to help reduce swelling...

Definite increase in swelling

It's honestly such a weird feeling. My body, my arms, legs, etc. feel completely fine and normal but from my nose to my neck, there is all of this pressure. Deflate deflate deflate.

I walked outside today, but there were a bit too many gnats and I didn't want any to fly into my mouth so I went back inside, which was sad because it was a nice day and my dog was having fun fetching. Which reminds me! When I came home from the hospital he was really worried. He actually jumped up on me, which was a bit scary because you know, just had jaw surgery, and he kept barking in a high-pitched worried bark tone. He slept next to me for a while. So it's nice to know that my dog cares and realizes that something has happened to me.

I feel like this has all been a bit scattered, but it's difficult to really think straight. Maybe it's the pressure, maybe it's the Lortab I managed to choke down, I'm not sure. They say swelling peaks at seventy-two hours, but I've lost track of time and don't really want to know if it's possible for me to swell any more. I feel like I might burst.

Day 1

Half of my day 1 was spent in the hospital. I was visited by my surgery team (the residents) minus the main surgeons and they proceeded to shine a bunch of penlights in my face poke around my mouth and band it shut with rubber bands to get the bite set. Breakfast was brought, but I wasn't hungry at all. I made myself keep syringing some water into my mouth though because they said I wouldn't be able to be discharged if I was too dehydrated. I was wheeled downstairs to the oral maxillofacial wing of the hospital where I waited for some x-rays to be taken. I can't believe my bite is actually together! Though my doctor says I'll need at least another year of braces to make it align properly, but that's fine because the hard part is in the process of being put behind me.

Missing that oxygen mask

I had an oxygen mask which was really nice because it dried me out and made it easier to breath. I wish I had one of those at home.

 My parents came back at around 11:30ish. They talked to me and told me what I didn't remember about my surgery  - namely that it took 5 hours with the most time spent on my upper jaw where three surgeons worked to make everything align. I don't even want to imagine what that would look like. I'm glad I was knocked out so fast.


They say I have more of a chin, but I feel too swollen to even process that idea. I mean, the size of my lips (#kyliejennerchallengewinner)!

Two of my doctors came to make sure everything looked good and see if we had any questions and then they said they'd fill out the paperwork for discharge!

My sister face timed me and we were able to communicate pretty well even though I was basically grunting.  My dad showed her around the room. Finally I was discharged and wheeled out to the parking lot. I managed to tell my dad to not brake suddenly as he had when we were driving to the hospital the other day. I fell asleep in the car a bit and then we were home and I was excited to try all of the liquids I had gotten. I liked the V8 and the chicken broth the best. My main concern is just staying hydrated right now.

Day 0

June 3 was all about my last foods. I had a muffin for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and then for my final dinner I went to Uncle Julio's a Mexican chain restaurant where I gorged myself on tortilla chips, guacamole, black bean salsa, and nachos. My surgery was scheduled for June 4th at 1 PM, which disappointed me because June 5 was national doughnut day and I wasn't able to partake in getting my free doughnut. I actually did manage to sleep because the idea of surgery remained super abstract to me and it didn't start to get real until I was asked to strip and put on the hospital gowns and socks. I was a bit confused about the socks because I remember this one episode of House where a woman left her socks on and ended up dying because House never checked her feet, but I suppose that's an extreme example and it's not like my foot was broken with bone marrow leaking into my blood stream.

On the way to the hospital
Last pre-swollen selfie

We checked in around 11AM or so and then I was just waiting for however long in a room that had a window and I saw a squirrel tap on the glass and then eat a wood chip. And then one of the nurses came in and introduced herself and then began to ask questions.

So the process is endless questions of what's your birthday, who's your doctor, what procedure are you having done, etc. and I didn't mind at all because I'd rather minimize all possibility of being confused with someone else.


I was introduced to the anesthesiologist and then one of the residents came in and wrapped my hair up and then one of the anesthesiologists gave me an anti-anxiety drug through my IV. It probably helped that I didn't have my glasses or contacts with me and was blind to everyone I passed by and what was in the OR. I remember lifting myself from my wheelable bed to the operating bed and then nothing.

awkward hair wrap 

The surgery, so they tell me took 5 hours. In the anesthesia recovery room, there was apparently a mishap with my oxygen only being at 70 and red and beeping and they had to call in the anesthesiologist who stopped the pain medication and shook my foot and shoulder telling me to breathe. What I remember is just coughing and hacking up blood all night in a half conscious state. Sometime around 11PM they took me to another room to spend the night.

But the surgical part is done and now it's just a process of moving forward, one day at a time.